June 2009
39 posts
Monday is sun day
See what I did there?
The one check-in for the day, for some “I’m Turning Down a Job Right Now” action, as Cambridge gets back to me reversing the decision of a few weeks ago.
Sorry, guys. Too little, too late.
“Signing this document means you agree to not remove any documents, files, or...”
– Good thing I took everything I needed before I signed that document!
Subtle Qualities of Hell
Mom made me a ham and swiss sandwich but used mustard instead of mayo.
A Fail? A Matter of Perspectives.
Good morning, Internet. It is 10:00am. And I am still here…I was not asked to leave, and there was no spontaneous internal human combustion. One could say that is a win, as I get two weeks of money without worry. One could also say it’s a fail, because I am still in my own personal Conradian heart of darkness.
It’s just me, non-boss, and two interns. There’s a couple...
“That’s right. It will set you free.”
– Big boss ironically missing my reference to where “work shall set you free” comes from.
“You haven’t told anyone else you’re leaving, correct?”
– Big boss with the SLAM DUNK.
Say hello, internet!
“This is going to sound like an ego thing, but whenever I read anything by...”
– Sending an email to Malcolm Gladwell to let him know I quit right now. So he can tell her something she didn’t know.
Great Expectations, Pt. 1
“One month’s notice would have been a minimum. Your position really demanded three months.”
Insert acronym of incredulity here.
“We need to make sure we’re thinking beyond these four walls.”
– Smile, big boss, you’re on Quitting My Job Right Now!
“You’re really starting to get a hang of this industry. It really does...”
– Ok, I can’t tell if big boss knows, or if this is dramatic irony of Grecian proportions.
“Notes from the Laundry Room”
– One of the many reasons they still need me as a copywriter. And another reason why literature departments worldwide have a hit out on me.
“It’s just so much fun reading your writing.”
– Yeah, big boss doesn’t know yet. Sub-boss is doin’ the perma-scowl.
"You really know how to manage me!"
Smiles, jokes, and a general sense of optimism. Additionally, I’m being instructed on how to “manage client’s expectations.” Big boss has clearly not read her e-mail yet.
Pro-Tip #1 for Sub-Boss:
Sending an email to the big boss isn’t the most confidential way of going about things, if part of my job is checking her email.
“I haven’t decided if I’ve accepted your end date yet.”
– Sub-boss, clearly controlling the field.
"This is my letter of resignation."
Sub-boss has been informed. His hands are still shaking. Big boss is still getting a homeopathic IV drip, and a colonic to reinsert her head you know where. Should be good times when she gets in.